Darling, where have you gone?

Dearest Brain,

I miss you. You were such an integral part of my life – why, sure, there were times when I wished you would stop whirling about so crazily, but that was part of your charm. Now I feel a bit lost, Brain. I know that you have not completely abandoned me, but I do wonder why you seem so distant at times. Is it something I said?

The other day, after Viva spilled something on her shirt, I picked up a spray bottle sitting next to the bathroom sink and began spraying vigorously at the stain for several seconds before Nose alerted me that I was spraying window cleaner on my baby’s shirt. Yes, the two spray bottles look similar. But Brain, really!

When I stop at the store to just run in and grab a couple of things, without a list, I’m depending on you, Brain. Why do I find myself wandering about the Back to School aisle, aimlessly picking up glue sticks and trying to remember where I’m supposed to be, when you know I am there to grab a few ears of corn on the cob and some hamburger buns? Help me out, for Chrissakes.

And when I stopped by my office this morning before dropping Viva off at school, to pick up a few files and save some work-in-progress onto my memory stick so I could work from home – couldn’t you have made a few connections, Brain? Couldn’t you have looked at your “to do” list and said, “Ah, yes, remember that research we did back in May – let’s pull that all out and save it onto the stick and that will help us get our thoughts organized once we get home, and we will write something perfectly suited to this latest project and it will take no time at all!” Instead, after waking me up this morning at 4 AM with concerns about health insurance and housing and hospitals, you have checked out once more. You seem to be stuck on “H,” Brain, and I need you to be less selective. Let’s try to focus on issues that start with different letters of the alphabet, hm?

Corpus Callosum! Hypothalamus! Get your shit together! I’m begging you.

I can’t say it any plainer that that. I miss you, and I'm worried that you won't come back until after the baby is born. Call me as soon as you get this message. I’ll be staring blankly at the wall until you return.

L&K,
L.