Twenty-Nine, and a Dilemma

Officially ten more weeks to go. I have my last monthly obstetrician appointment tomorrow, and I think after this point, she'll start seeing me every two weeks. And then at eight months she'll start seeing me every week. Yikes.

So my first baby shower is this weekend, and I have a small problem. The shower is being held at the home of one of my dearest/closest work friends, who happens to live in an area of northeast LA which has a gang violence problem. You would think that during the day, this would not be an issue, but you would be wrong. I am not concerned for myself, but for my darling Sweet Dub, who has been asked to show up about three-quarters of the way through. The gangs in this area have made headlines for specifically targeting black men. As in shooting them. To death. So you know, this is cause for some concern.

Just to put this in perspective, let me relate an anecdote from when Sweet Dub and I were newly married. On our way to a party in this selfsame area, we had pulled up at the light coming off the freeway and were waiting to turn. A carful of homies pulled up next to us and then kept moving their car forward and back and staring into our car. They looked pissed off. I was confused, because I didn't recall cutting anyone off or doing anything funky that would cause trouble. I said to Sweet Dub, "What's their deal? Are they just messing with us just because?" He said, "Wait for the light to turn and let's just cruise on out of here. Don't look over at them anymore." The light did turn shortly thereafter and we went off to the party without incident, but not without some anxiety that they might follow us. Maybe we turned onto a street that wasn't part of their turf, who knows?

It wasn't until later, when I started reading stories about black men being shot for no reason* in that neighborhood that I started putting two and two together, and I realized the incident could have ended much differently. We were lucky perhaps that we turned left, instead of right. My Happy Little Blah Blah World could have been part of a grim statistic.

Thus and so, I am reluctant to have Sweet Dub drive through this neighborhood, even on a sunny Saturday afternoon, because, well, I'm kind of fond of him and would rather he stick around. And the gang violence in the area has increased since our little incident several years ago. Despite the recent crackdown, I'm still leery. So I think I will very respectfully and graciously say that Dub won't be able to come due to a family commitment. By which I mean his commitment to staying alive for the sake of his family. And I'll leave it at that. And he can stay at home, sprawled on the couch, watching the Olympics, shedding a tear or two at the glorious triumph of the human spirit and all.

* When I say "for no reason," I mean without provocation. I mean, one of these men was just driving down the street looking for a parking space. There is a reason he was shot, which is that he was a black man in the "wrong" neighborhood. None of the men who have been killed have any known gang affiliation. They just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.